What makes a Track Hoof?

February 21, 2008 at 8:11 pm (Uncategorized)

I know you’re expecting a real, quality entry, and I assure you, I have them in the waiting.

But god damn it, I hate these effing cougars.

I miss my hunter, but I refuse to give up on Smackhoof until I, at the least, get Bear Form, and start ripping those rotten little furballs apart.

I miss many things. Notably, I miss Feign Death.

But I also miss my guns.

As I’ve said before, I love guns. It pains me to be forced into using a bow at any point in the game. Say what you will about the Tauren mythos, the pure psychological draw of Bull + Gun is undeniable.

It’s an unholy union. It doesn’t make sense. It lacks grace, finesse, and everything a giant Earth-loving cow should offer his party.

But the forbidden fruit has been tasted. And it is sweet. (I wanted to find a clip of a particular scene from Zoolander, but there’s none on youtube. For shame!)

To me, playing Trackhoof while not using a gun is unnatural. The aspect of me that comes out is not some careful archer, it’s a cross between John Cusack and John McClane.

In a nutshell, Trackhoof IS Martin Blank.

In real life, I don’t even own guns. I have a sword ( a memento of mine, from a friend), a couple of martial-arts trophies (I am deceptively dangerous for a fun-loving guy), and a small, ferocious, adorable attack dog.

But I love and respect guns. They’re amazingly crafted, human-designed equalizers. A big guy with a Beretta is as threatening as an old-age pensioner with a .45 Magnum. It’s an intriguing concept, and I’m a fair shot, so the firearm draw my attention.

Like ChainTrap said of his experience with being a Hunter, I too enjoy the idea of being a sniper-type character. I love the challenges of being tactical. I love the control aspect, and I like holding battles in the palm of my hand.

In the real world, I hold much the same role. I’m the organizer, the tactical mastermind, and resident damage control expert. I’ve helped avert some minor crises as well as major situations, from dressing wounds, psychological breakdowns, and run-of-the-mill alcohol poisoning to keeping keg parties from getting busted, stopping street brawls, and even saving a friend from failing her final exam.

I find it funny that, to an extent, games really reflect life.

You’d think that we’d choose to be people we aren’t, when we always end up being who we are.

Just, y’know, with horns.




  1. Pike said,

    What’s funny is that I could never be an “IRL hunter”. I’ve never picked up a real gun or bow in my life and I’d never dream of going out and shooting an animal (unless it was necessary I suppose, but even then I’d have a hard time).

    And yet the whole hunter mythos is very deeply embedded in me and that’s a big part of what keeps drawing them to me. I once wrote a blog post about how I think I certainly have a hunter-personality.

  2. Pike said,

    Oh, and http://www.cowswithguns.com/cowmovie.html

    Always, always the very first thing I think of when I think of tauren hunters. >.>

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