Survival Hunters Anonymous

In the words of Ron White, No matter how much you spend, or how hard you try…

You can’t fix stupid.

I really need to start taking screengrabs of my reactions in guild chat. But here’s a close approximation :

Track : Check it out, just looking at a dual-dagger wielding hunter in Shatt.
Track : man, this guy’s gear is weird, he’s got +strength and +defense rating… I don’t know what he’s thinking… and he has Fiery enchants on daggers.
Guildie : Heh, yeah, just in AV right now.
Track : Let’s see what his spec is…OH GOD, HE’S SURVIVAL
Track : UNCLEAN
Track : UNCLEAN
Guildie : Hey, c’mon, there’s nothing wrong about Survival Hunters
Track : I know – I am one
Track : I have a Survival blog
Track : I still feel dirty by association

What’s worse? Notice that he’s using Threat Reduction trinkets.

YOU HAVE FEIGN DEATH. AND MISDIRECTION. AND DISENGAGE. AND A PET.

YOU DON’T NEED THREAT REDUCTION TRINKETS.

Regardless, let’s get to the meat and potatoes of it, shall we?

10 Lessons you can learn from this guy:

1) Don’t spec Survival without a buttload of agility. 430 is not a buttload.

2) Don’t spec Survival without a buttload of crit. 22% is not a buttload.

22% is barely par for the course.

3) Don’t gem with +strength. Seriously, WTF?

4) Don’t run with Ced’s Carvers. The +crit is nice, but it’s not nearly as worth it as a good +agility weapon.

5) Don’t run with Ced’s Carvers with Fiery enchants on them. If anything, go with Icy Chill.

Fiery is good in Twink brackets, where 40 damage is a big plus.

If you must scrub it up, please, get Icy Chill, even though it procs less, immobilizing somebody is way bigger than dealing a pithy 40 fire damage.

6) Don’t spec for Improved Feign Death when you can get Go For The Crotch Throat. 4% resist is good, but you have traps and Readiness. More than enough compensation.

7) Don’t gem with +Strength. EVER.

8 ) If you are a hunter and you wear a Felsteel Ring, I KEEL YOU.

9) If you are a hunter and you wear a Thick Felsteel Necklace, I KEEL YOU.

10) Never, EVER compensate for your inability to manage threat by using trinkets.

If you can’t manage threat as a Survival Hunter, then I hereby revoke your Hunter License, grab a cup of coffee on your way out, etc. etc.

I need another shower.

-Track

P.S. I’m not re-opening the blog. This was just something that, once again, SOMEBODY will get some use out of. I mean, somebody found my blog by searching “What’s the reason why people hold on to the flag in Warsong Gulch?”.

The answer is, there is no reason. They’re a douche who wants to keep the match going for as long as possible, and frustrate the opposition while their teammates farm honor kills; which is exactly why I’d advocate a “Most Caps in 15 minutes OR 3 Caps” limit on WSG matches.

A Jonathan Swift for a different breed.

This is not unreasonable; nor is it a request to change the aggro behavior of every bears within a 40 yard radius of one being skinned.

Hope this gets noticed.

-Brian